Useful Phrases For Arab Travel

(Most of the humour collected here is in the public domain, unless otherwise specified.)

AKBAR KHALI-KILI HAFTIR LOFTAN:
Thank you for showing me your marvellous gun.

FEKR GABUL GARDAN DAVAT PAEH GUSH DIVAR:
I am delighted to accept your kind invitation to lie down on the floor with my arms above my head and my legs apart.

SHOMAEH FEKR TAMOMEH OEH GOFTEH BANDE:
I agree with everything you have ever said or thought in your life.

AUTO ARRAREGH DAVATEMAN MANO SEPAHEH-HAST:
It is exceptionally kind of you to allow me to travel in the trunk of your car.

FASHAL-EH TUPEHMAN NA DEGAT MANO GOFTAM CHEESHAYEH MOHEMARA JEBEHKESHVAREHMAN:
If you will do me the kindness of not harming my genital appendages, I will gladly reciprocate by betraying my country in public.

KHREL JEPAHEH MANEH VA JAYEII AMRIKAHEY:
I will tell you the names and address of many American spies travelling as reporters.

BALLI, BALLI, BALLI,:
Whatever you say!

MATERNIER GHERMEZ AHLIEH GHORBAN:
The red blindfold would be lovely, your excellency.

TIKEH NUNEH BA OB KHRELLEH BEZORG VA KHRUBE BOYAST NO BEGERAM:
The water soaked breadcrumbs are delicious, thank you, I must have the recipe.