I’m on a roll today

My latest email to Vodacom:

I'm furious. Four years of custom and I expect better.

First off, I have both an i-mate K-JAM and Samsung SGH-i750, both of which apparently you don't support on your website, so I can't update my MMS or GPRS settings. The irony is that the Sony Ericsson P990 which isn't even available in your stores is on the site. Fix that, will you?

Secondly, you don't list your MMS or GPRS settings on your site anymore, which means I had to use MyADSL to find them. Fix that, will you?

Thirdly, I DO NOT WANT LOOK4HELP OR LOOK4ME AT ALL. STOP IT, STOP IT, STOP IT! I've tried four times with two different web browsers to deactivate these services on my contract that I DO NOT WANT AND NEVER ASKED FOR.

I've even phoned into 082 111 two weeks ago to turn them off, and I was told they were off, and then I still received SMSes last Saturday to "welcome me". This AFTER I'd already sent "STOP" and "UNSUBSCRIBE" the previous weekend OVER AND ABOVE the 082 111 call.

How many times must I tell you to turn the damn things off? Now when I want to do it online, your brilliantly executed website tells me to phone 082 111 or try later, because it is broken.

Don't bother phoning me. Just fix your damn website and let me update the services I want to. I do not have time to stuff around with phoning 082 111 (which doesn't work), or coming into my "closest VSP agent". I pay you enough money every month as it is. Fix your website.

Incidentally, if you charge me for any of the Look4Sh*t services, I'm going to sue you.