Letter to Koos

(Most of the humour collected here is in the public domain, unless otherwise specified.)

Dearest Koos

I’m writing this slow because I know that you can’t read fast. We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your pa read in the newspaper that almost all accidents happen within 20km of home. So we moved.

I can’t send you the address, because the last family who lived here took the house numbers when they moved, so they wouldn’t have to change their address.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine. I don’t know that it works so well though. Last week I put in a load of clothes and pulled the chain. We haven’t seen them since.

The weather isn’t bad here. It rained only twice last week. The first time for four days, and the second time for three days.

About the coat you wanted me to send you. Your oom Frikkie said it would be too heavy to send them in the post with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Piet locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were really worried because it took him two hours to get me and your father out.

Your sister had a baby this morning but I don’t know what it is yet, so I don’t know if you are an aunt or an uncle. I was told that it is almost black. I think she spent too much time in the sun when she was pregnant, always helping Jonas the farmhand with the mealies.

Oom Wessels fell into a whisky vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated. It took five days to put the fire out.

Three of your friends went off a bridge in their oupa’s bakkie. I always new this thing was dangerous. Janneman was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your other two friends were on the back. They drowned because they couldn’t get the tailgate down.

There isn’t much more news at this time. Nothing much out of the normal has happened.

Your favorite aunt

Hanna

P.S. I was going to enclose R25 but I already sealed the envelope!