Pinky and the Brain

(An homage to one of my favourite TV shows.)

“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

I think so, Brain, but balancing a family, and a career? Ooh, it’s all too much for me.

I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so.

I think so, Brain, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks?

I think so, Brain, but do I really need 2 tongues?

I think so, Brain, but how are we going to make pencils that taste like bacon? Or maybe we should make bacon that tastes like pencils. Narf.

I think so, Brain, but how will we get a pair of Abe Vigoda’s pants?

I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella?

I think so, Brain, but I can’t memorize a whole opera in Yiddish.

I think so, Brain, but if Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it?

I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn’t the plural of spouse be spice?

I think so, Brain, but if they called them “sad meals” no one would buy them.

I think so, Brain, but if we didn’t have ears, we’d look like weasels.

I think so, Brain, but if we get “Sam spayed,” we’ll never have any puppies.

I think so, Brain, but if you replace the P with an O, my name would be Oinky, wouldn’t it?

I think so, Brain, but isn’t Regis Philbin already married?

I think so, Brain, but Kevin Costner with an English accent? I dunno.

I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking… I mean, what would the children look like?

I think so, Brain, but pants with horizontal stripes make me look chubby.

I think so, Brain, but the Rockettes, it’s mostly girls, isn’t it?

I think so, Brain, but then it’d be Snow White and the Seven Samurai…

I think so, Brain, but we’re already naked.

I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won’t wear the nylons?

I think so, Brain, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night?

I think so, Brain, but why would anyone want a depressed tounge?

I think so, Brain, but wouldn’t anything lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

I think so, Brain, but Zero Mostel times anything will still give you Zero Mostel.

Uh… yeah, Brain, but where will we get rubber pants our size?

Yes Brain, but if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle?


Variations on a theme:

The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what… you know.
Pinky: I think so, but… uh… something about a duck.

The Brain: Are you pondering what I’m pondering?
Pinky: Woof, oh, I’d have to say the odds of that are terribly slim, Brain.
The Brain: True.
Pinky: I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you’ve been pondering?
The Brain: To my knowledge, never.
Pinky: Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I’m pondering what you’re pondering?
The Brain: Next to nil.
Pinky: Well, that’s exactly what I’m thinking, too.
The Brain: Therefore, you ARE pondering what I’m pondering.
Pinky: Poit, I guess I am.

The Brain: Are you pondering what I’m pondering, Pinky?
Pinky: Wha, I think so Brain, but – *snort* No, no, it’s too stupid.
The Brain: We will disguise ourselves as a cow.
Pinky: Narf. That was it *exactly*.
The Brain: Moo. We are a cow. Take us to China.