You Know You Are Too Stressed When …

(Most of the humour collected here is in the public domain, unless otherwise specified.)

  • You can achieve a “runners high” by sitting up.
  • The sun is too loud.
  • You are missing several days from this week.
  • Trees begin to chase you.
  • You can see individual air molecules vibrating.
  • You wonder if brewing is *really* a necessary step for the consumption of coffee.
  • You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you’ve said it before.
  • You can hear mimes.
  • Things become “very clear”. Everything is “very clear, indeed”.
  • You ask the drive-thru attendant if you can get your order to go.
  • Your heart beats in 7/8 time.
  • You and reality file for divorce.
  • You say the same sentence over and over again, not realizing that you’ve said it before.
  • It appears that people are speaking to you in binary code.
  • You can travel without moving.
  • Antacid tablets become your sole source of nutrition.
  • You discover the aesthetic beauty of office supplies.
  • You begin to talk to yourself, then disagree about the subject, get into a nasty tiff over it, lose, and refuse to speak to yourself for the next day.
  • You say the same sentence over and over again, not realising that you’ve said it before.
  • You say the same sentence over and over again, not realising that you’ve said it before.