(Most of the humour collected here is in the public domain, unless otherwise specified.)
- Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.
- Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!
- Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
- Hand me that… uh… that uh… thingie.
- Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
- There go the lights again…
- Ya’ know… there’s big money in kidneys… and this guy’s got two of ’em.
- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
- Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing my concentration off.
- What’s this doing here?
- I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.
- That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?
- Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
- Sterile, shmerile. The floor’s clean, right?
- What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change?
- OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
- Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
- What do you mean “You want a divorce!”
- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
- Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
- Isn’t this the one with the really lousy insurance?