(Most of the humour collected here is in the public domain, unless otherwise specified.)

  • Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness.
  • Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad dog!
  • Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.
  • Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?
  • Hand me that… uh… that uh… thingie.
  • Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.
  • Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500 ml of this stuff before?
  • There go the lights again…
  • Ya’ know… there’s big money in kidneys… and this guy’s got two of ’em.
  • Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!
  • Could you stop that thing from beating? It’s throwing my concentration off.
  • What’s this doing here?
  • I hate it when they’re missing stuff in here.
  • That’s cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?
  • Well, folks, this will be an experiment for all of us.
  • Sterile, shmerile. The floor’s clean, right?
  • What do you mean he wasn’t in for a sex change?
  • OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature.
  • This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?
  • Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card?
  • Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.
  • What do you mean “You want a divorce!”
  • FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!
  • Rats! Page 47 of the manual is missing!
  • Isn’t this the one with the really lousy insurance?