Randolph The lead paragraph states (related link):
Wellington – A New Zealand teen who used a microwave to kill a pet budgie he stole from a school classroom has been sent to prison for nine months.
Right, this is telling the news as it happened. Not. I’m getting sick of sensationalist propaganda by animal-friendly journalism. The facts are simple. An eighteen year old man (isn’t 18 the age of majority?) pleaded guilty to eight charges of burglary, and one minor charge of cruelty to animals, because after one of the EIGHT robberies, he stole a budgie and then nuked it in a microwave.
Clearly this guy is sick in the head to microwave an animal, but more importantly, he’s a thief. He’s in jail for robbery, not for nuking a pet bird. Journalism is missing level-headed reporting.
I can just see it now, had he ONLY been jailed for nuking the budgie. The guy can’t be all that masculine if he’s stealing pet birds, now can he?
Butch Inmate #1: Hey buddy, the name’s Bubba. Do you want to be the mommy or the daddy?
Budgie Nuker: Hey Bubba, I don’t think you want to come near me. I’m in here for murder.
Butch Inmate #2: Yeah, the screws told me he was a murderer, like Sirius Black!
Budgie Nuker: It’s true. I killed a living creature by stuffing it into a microwave and pressing “Start”.
Butch Inmate #1: No, no, it can’t be! You’re evil and twisted. Was it a poodle? Was it a cat? Hey man, I’ll be the mommy tonight. Just tell me what it was!
Budgie Nuker: It was a bird.
Butch Inmate #2: A bird? You mean a woman?
Butch Inmate #1: A chick? You nuked a chick?
Budgie Nuker: Naw, it was … it was … a budgie.
Butch Inmate #1: Bend over, bitch.