According to Ananova.com, Tom Cruise has declared that he will be eating the placenta of his child when Katie Holmes gives birth to it (the child, not the placenta … oh, never mind!) later this year.
In other news, George Michael drove into three other vehicles when parking his 4×4. If only he’d driven over Tom Cruise.
What kind of a stupid name is “Tom Cruise” anyway? Prat.
If I were God, this would be me with Tom Cruise: