According to, Tom Cruise has declared that he will be eating the placenta of his child when Katie Holmes gives birth to it (the child, not the placenta … oh, never mind!) later this year.

In other news, George Michael drove into three other vehicles when parking his 4×4. If only he’d driven over Tom Cruise.

What kind of a stupid name is “Tom Cruise” anyway? Prat.

If I were God, this would be me with Tom Cruise:

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