The Lotto was suspended six weeks ago after Uthingo's licence ran out. To this date, despite noises assurances from government that a new operator would be licenced by now, nothing has happened.

I would therefore like to be the National Lottery operator. I have every intention of being less corrupt than the group that was turned down. I also plan to employ better television presenters for the draw, and better distribution of money to those that need it. On my list, in order of preference, are health, education, culture and sport. I will reduce the ticket price to R2, instead of the previous cost of R2.50, and I will allow tickets to be purchased over the Internet.

If I'm not too bored, I might pretend to offer something else, but …

*snore*

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