One thing I’ve been saying for many years, even as a young twink, was that if you have any questions about queer stuff, just ask.

I’ve answered a lot of questions over the years, and wrote about some of them in a chapter in a book last year. Increasingly I’m finding myself answering questions on Twitter as well, as direct messages.

It doesn’t matter if you feel embarrassed by the question, or if you think it sounds stupid. We all start with zero knowledge. I try not to make a fuss about the topic, and answer as matter-of-factly as I can. I don’t judge (well, I do and so do you, but I try not to let it get in the way).

You can ask about what the letters of the queer alphabet mean. You can ask about sex and role play. You can ask about fetishes. You can ask questions about gay, lesbian, trans, straight, non-binary, genderqueer, whatever. I’ll even answer questions about my own life as long as they don’t discuss my current and previous partners (privacy is important).

If I don’t know something I’ll say so, but I do know a lot. It doesn’t mean I’m necessarily into certain things, but I definitely know someone who is.

Just ask.

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