1. Push 39 marshmallows into your nose and try to sneeze them out.
  2. Use your Mastercard to pay off your Visa card.
  3. Make popcorn without a lid.
  4. Whenever someone tells you to have a nice day, tell them you have other plans.
  5. Make a to-do list, but only of things you’ve already done.
  6. Dance naked in front of your pets.
  7. Pay your electricity bill with 5c pieces.
  8. Complete your income tax forms with Roman numerals.
  9. Drive to work in reverse.
  10. Send your doctor a bill for the time you spent in the waiting area.
  11. Write a short story using alphabet soup.
  12. Lie on your back while eating celery and use your navel as a salt cellar.
  13. Stare at people through a fork and tell them they’re in jail.

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