Author: The “Tom Cruise” Issue
The NRO hereby repudiates Tom Cruise’s status as mostly-carbon. It is my moral duty as Smiter of Iniquity to renounce him in the name of good taste, and anyone found venerating him will be forced to put on a miniskirt, listen to the audiobook version of “The Da Vinci Code” in Swahili, and take aContinue reading The “Tom Cruise” Issue
Disciple Rule
I’m making my first act of delegation now. I have named Delano and Brendon as disciples, and as representatives of the NRO, they are hereby permitted to make up their own rules, as long as it fits in with my mostly-carbon rule. You don’t have to listen to them, but if you do, I won’tContinue reading Disciple Rule
WWAMCCD
In keeping with my ridiculous idea of creating acronyms, and with the start of my new religion, here is a spin on "What Would Jesus Do?", or the more popular "What Would Betty Bowers Do?".
Elton John declared Official Bitch of NRO
Brendon, my second disciple, has seconded my motion to induct Elton John into the NRO as its official bitch.
Thoughts on other religious conflicts
Official viewpoint of NRO on other religious conflicts: Get over yourselves. Life is too short. You have no right to force your beliefs onto other people. You're probably overcompensating for a) a small penis (most religious wars are started and fought by men), or b) low self-esteem.
Elton John for honorary induction into NRO
From News24 (see related link): "Cannes – British pop star Elton John launched an expletive-laden tirade against the press in Cannes late on Saturday while presenting an award to a young actor during the annual film festival."
Main objectives of new religion
Delano, NRO (of the New Religious Order), has outlined some objectives of the new religion, which I'll call NRO until we find a better name. His points contain my responses below.
New religions
Well it appears that Delano, being my first disciple, has started us off on my "new religion" experiment. I shall call him "Delano of the New Religious Order". We'll canonise him when he dies. It will be a de facto canonisation because he's my first disciple.
Happy anniversary to me
Happy nine eight-month anniversary to me and Marinus, but especially to Marinus.