Seems I'm not the only one who is sick of the crime problem. Journalist Tim Modise (see related link) is also getting annoyed. Incidentally, my mother and her neighbour were targets of crime last week – my dog didn't even bark as five motor vehicles were broken into and radios stolen or ignitions damaged.

A man has rejected his donated member for psychological reasons. Apparently (see related link), he and his wife just couldn't accept the transplanted penis, even though it was working well enough.

My Pirate name is Poop Deck Enrico, and my fiance's name is Lazy Eye Bruno. Cool, huh?

It is scientifically proven that cold water is ineffective against E.coli. I strongly recommend re-evaluating your cold-shower AIDS remedy.

"We live in a free world", sang Ace of Base, but the truth is that we're facing global annihilation. The latest outbreak of E.coli infections is just a simple example of how pitiful our existence really is. Someone crapped in some spinach, it got out, and people are dying from E.coli.

My latest email to Vodacom:

In a letter this morning to my ex-medical aid, after an incomprehensible voicemail was left on my phone:

A long time ago, in a galaxy … right here, in fact … before the age of cellular telephones in South Africa, a lone boy in full school uniform stood at an empty bus stop. It was 8pm, and he breathed a sigh of relief as the headlights on a familiar car swept over him.