There was no bear
https://twitter.com/_randolph_west/status/1097642652542033920
In which Randolph almost dies by misadventure with a microwave
In August 2025 I did a live performance for the Calgary Fringe Festival, and told this story on stage. It has been said that I am the luckiest person I know, not least because I keep avoiding death by misadventure. At times I feel like Devon Sawa in Final Destination. One evening in November 2017,Continue reading In which Randolph almost dies by misadventure with a microwave
Now I’m envisioning him talking like a wookiee
Gritty is the recently unveiled mascot for the Philadelphia Flyers, an ice hockey team in the National Hockey League. Researching that sentence just now, I learned more about Gritty than I knew before. Despite not being au fait with Gritty’s origin story, I’ve been enamoured with his image and without realising it, I have contributedContinue reading Now I’m envisioning him talking like a wookiee
My funniest line
In 1993, I was in Grade 11 and a member of the Parktown Boys’ High School Public Speaking team. Our four members were as unlikely to be public speakers as you could find. Two were exceptional athletes in their respective disciplines, and stereotypically assumed to be intellectually dim (they weren’t), one was a class clown.Continue reading My funniest line
Complaints of the Season
Happy everything. Leave me alone until next year.
Clipboards, Rednex, and being German
I’ve had an interesting weekend. On Friday night, we hosted nearly fifty people in our house, for the year-end function for some of the hospitalists in town. The hardwood floors took some damage. On Saturday night, I performed at another private year-end function, for actual money. My role in Friday night’s affair was to beContinue reading Clipboards, Rednex, and being German
Pineapple George: thirty minutes of mayhem and bison blood
In 2005, I taught Computer Literacy at Beaulieu College in Kyalami. It was fun. During my time there, I helped some students produce a play, based on an extremely short story I wrote in my youth, called Pineapple George. This was the transmogrified version, with undue credit. I hope this haunts their Google searches inContinue reading Pineapple George: thirty minutes of mayhem and bison blood
Rudolph Potts (Baker)
My very favourite author died a week ago. Sir Terry’s death was expected, though not this suddenly. For the last week, I’ve been wondering how, or even whether, to address this loss on my website. So many greater words have been written. I decided to relate a story, based on what my friend Brendon saidContinue reading Rudolph Potts (Baker)
A review of silly hats
My friend Aidan posted about the new Pope on Facebook, and how he doesn’t like silly hats as much as Vitamin B-16, prompting me to plumb the depths of DuckDuckGo Image Search. For your reference, here’s Benedict Eks-vee-eye: And now here’s Francis, with three excellent reasons why he doesn’t wear a silly hat in public. OfContinue reading A review of silly hats
Alice’s Restaurant
Many years ago, my parents introduced me to Arlo Guthrie’s classic, “Alice’s Restaurant”. Meanwhile, on Metafilter, someone put together the ultimate link porn tribute to this song. Check it out. (Source.)